You put that thing WHERE?

My sisters find it disgusting. I find it liberating.

That time of month has rolled around, the period (you see what I did there eh?) of time when bloody Marys become too literal to comfortably drink… okay okay I’ll stop before you squirm right out yo knickers. Alright lady hold your hormones, that’s all I got.

angry uterusIf you haven’t yet clicked out of this post, congratulations! You can deal with a little period humor and can confidently forge ahead with your reading. With that established, I would love to share an incredible discovery with you that I made back in 2014. I speak of the wonder that is the Menstrual Cup.

My Divacup was a miracle I discovered on a get-these-chemicals-outta-my-home streak a couple years back. The streak hasn’t quite ended. I admit, I’m quite an ambitious streak-keeper. No, actually that was an accident; the way it happened was I chanced upon my box of tampons during the cleaning frenzy, had an ‘Aha!’ moment, did some research as I’m very much prone to do (check out this article for a rundown) only to find out they, along with my emergency pad options, were full to the brim with more chemicals than I knew what to make of. And as much as it wooed me to fantasize about alternatively bleeding out into Mother Earth, I wasn’t so keen on getting fined for public nudity. So after some more scavenging around, finding and switching over to the Menstrual Cup, I fell madly in love with it and have yet to revert back to my old tampon-wearing ways.

 

What is a Menstrual Cup anyways? you ask.

The Menstrual Cup is a small medical-grade silicone cup that gets placed just under the cervix during menstruation and, using suction, holds in place to catch your flow. It’s used as a convenient and eco-friendly alternative to tampons and pads.

 

Here are the pros and cons of the thing, as per my personal discoveries:

Pros:

  • Convenience. It takes up minimal packing space, is easy to travel with, and transformed my camping experience.
  • I can forget about it. Once it’s in I no longer feel its presence.
  • Low maintenance. It needs emptying once every 6-12 hours, whereas pads and tampons need changing every 4-8.
  • No leaking. Because it works through suction, leakage becomes a thing of the past.
  • Most definitely saves in the cash department.
  • Because of a lack of chemical influences and cotton to dry me out, my juices flow well, properly and healthily. (Don’t give me that face. Yes you.)
  • In effect, I’ve become immensely more in tune with my body and cycle, aware of changing shifts and tides, and thereby given myself an ability to be present and help with whatever might be going on inside of me. I have become my own intuitive healer.

Cons:

  • The first time or two I used the cup and hadn’t quite gotten the hang of it- I got mighty scared when I couldn’t figure out how to pop the suction. I thought I’d have to go to the ER to get the thing out. But I’m a quick study and figured it all out before needing to ship off to a mortifying hospital episode.

Note:

  • It’s important to get the right fit with your cup. After the past couple of years with one brand, I recently decided to try out another and it failed miserably for me, leaking and getting stuck and generally failing spectacularly at its job. This is easily fixed. There are so many cups on the market and finding the right fit for you will put you straight back into heaven’s cradle. (Here’s a great quiz from putacupinit.com to help you narrow down and ask the right questions.)

 

Let’s take a commercial break for a moment to check out this hilarious rap battle.

 

Mooncup
The cup. Up close and personal.

And now we end this segment with one very legitimate statement and response, and a last burning question of the day.

 

Our audience member Sally has stated the following:

Now that’s just freaking gross. 

An honest statement and so one would think Sally, so one would think. So my sisters have blatantly let me know. So my non-tree-hugging-friends tell me. But once you get over seeing your own blood, it’s otherwise pretty much just hype. Yes, the Cup does require (perhaps- no judgment) new levels of comfort with your lady-bits. But girls- that is not a bad thing. To the contrary, it may even help release some layers of shame society has put on and taught you. The vagina is, in fact, cleaner than your mouth (look it up!) And we know you have no problems getting your fingers in there when that food’s stuck between your teeth.

 

Our last question then. I know you’ve all been thinking it, and if you haven’t just wait a couple seconds and you will be…

Rut Brocha. Doesn’t it look like a freaking crime scene every time you gotta empty it?

Good question there bud. Heh. Well the short answer is yes, sometimes it does; and no, sometimes it does not. It really depends what point of your period you’re at. Pretty self-explanatory- the amount you’re bleeding will determine how much shows up at the end of the day. In the beginning this was the biggest turn-off the whole thing had for me. But I got used to it relatively quickly and now I must say I find it quite satisfying to see the work my body gets done. Cleanup is relatively simple. It all stays very neat after a cycle or two of getting used to the ins and outs. Fold, insert, pull out, empty and clean, that’s it.

 

Conclusion:

For me, I’m sold on the Cup and don’t see myself going back to shoving any more bleach sticks up my hoo-ha anytime soon. I’ve been a proud user over the past 3 1/2 years and it’s revolutionized my time of month in so many ways. I couldn’t be more grateful. For you- I can see in your eyes a few more burning questions I must have missed. Leave your comments below and let the discussions ensue. Perhaps even get a little adventurous with your next period! Your body will thank you, no doubt about it.

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