I attended a dinner a few weekends ago where I sat and witnessed a tragedy unfold.
There was a certain wonderful young man doing his best to empower the three ladies sitting across from him listening intently to his promising words. They’d been speaking about female empowerment in today’s day and age and the biblical and prophetic tradition that at the end of days the female would rise into her own power… but that looking around practically at the world, it seemed a stalled and slow process.
The young man assured them that it’s the woman who holds more power than she’ll ever know, who holds wisdom and the highest levels of spiritual and intuitive connection, and hey look don’t feel bad- women ARE rising into their power. See, at least nowadays you can vote!!
The girls nodded and soaked it in, seeming validated and content with his words. I, on the other hand, sat there seething and biting my tongue. Tongue-biting only for wanting to clarify what it was that bothered me so much before spitting words of reactionary fury that I couldn’t take back.
The most obvious thing of course was ‘at least you can vote’. Well thank you very much ye hoity toity man on a throne. Please please throw me your potato peels and carrot scraps here, I’m starving for your precious crumbs in my little golden kitchen cage. Would you like me to make you a sandwich??
Moving past that raw nerve though, because knowing what a sweet guy he is I’m absolutely certain he didn’t mean it that way, what actually struck me was as follows:
These girls, as I’ve so often seen reflected around me, were looking to a MAN for validation of their worthiness, for his stamp of approval for their intrinsic value. Permission to be who they are and celebrate it. Permission. From a man.
Why is this so prevalent??
Surrounding myself with empowered women over the past years has filtered this way of being out of my consciousness to a vast degree, so having it show up again through these visitors was a shock to the system. But prevalent in the world I’ve seen it to be.
How could I have forgotten my sisters?
To all you out there, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I forgot you. I’m sorry I’d forgotten what it was like to be sexualized on billboards on every highway, on shop-windows, on advertisements blaring at you over and over throughout your day.
Societal norms ingraining that message, stripping you down to mere physical beings, objects for all intents and purposes. Songs on the radio. Media on your laptop. Messages blaring at you day in day out. Objectifying you while telling you you can never be happy the way you are. Forgetting that you are so much more than anything that can ever be shown, viewed, bought or preserved.
Forgetting your nature, your intuition, your brilliance, your sensitivity. Forgetting your humanity, your kindness, your love, your magic. Your witch-sense and sixth-sense, your incredible big wide expansive soul. Your psychic connections, your other-worldliness and tapped-in mama-earthiness. Your wisdom. Your genius. Your soul. Your human-being-ness.
Your femininity. And all it’s magical expressions.
You, my sisters, need NO ONE’S validation for your worthiness other than your own. Especially not a man’s. No man will be able to help you hear the universe whisper, or listen more closely to what your gut is trying to say. No man can teach you to trust in your innate wisdom and knowledge. No man can give you love that you do not have for yourself. And no man can help you cultivate the true essence and power of what it really means, feels like, and IS to be a woman.
God put you here, and God put you here for a reason. God loves you, yes you! And the whole world is waiting for you to take ahold of your own destiny, believe in your self-worth, and begin building confidence and self-empowerment through loving yourSELF.
Build a sisterhood, work together, empower each other, validate, understand, grow, and help each other blossom.
But don’t ever, and I mean EVER, turn over the keys to your own happiness, your allowance to live and be, validation for your very essence and existence, to any single other person in this world. Those keys are for you, and you alone, to hold on to for good.
I see you. I believe in you. I celebrate you.