Something is always better than nothing. Because something is one step above nothing. Something is at least… something.
How do I put into words experiences that take my breath away, leaving no room for the undeveloped sounds of language? How do I sufficiently express the inexpressible? The depth of living. The waves of feeling. The lessons and unraveling and unveiling of yet another complex and mysterious layer of life. The chill of despair. The loss of hope. The renewal of yearning. The spark that keeps me warm enough to go on.
There are some things that are possible to write about. The birds, the trees, the gurgle of a stream. And there are those that defy all speech, deny the confines of limited expression.
I want to write about those impossible things.
I want to write about them because those are the things that matter to me. Those are the things that affect me. Those are the moments that carry meaning and change and the evolution of the creature and being I am becoming.
How do I attempt this paradox of a task?
How do I voice the unvoiceable? How do I capture bits and sparks of REAL LIFE in a few black and white sentences? The struggle has been tormenting me. And thus I’ve been silenced.
This is not an excuse. Nor a writer’s defense. This is a search for… something to give voice and break this silence.
Yet again. Again in my life. Always re-sparking those plugs and wires, trying to find a combination that will work for this go round, something to juice the engines for one more try. Once more breaking so large a silence it has consumed all sound in its vast belly of too many words. Finding a way to rebirth and re-allow the words to be confined. Rediscovering the ability to scratch out a few sentences and weave a few more simple threads in the tapestry of shared life we all hold.
Here is my offering of something.
Once more my head bows at the altar of shared Source and Light. My better than nothing. Because something can touch others. Something can be given. Something holds a bit of offering to the Greater Universe. Something- we can work with. It means I tried. I am trying.
Much peace, love, and blessings to all my readers. It’s you who keeps my pen waggling and thoughts streaming. Thank you for being here and motivating me to keep trying.
Xx Rut Brocha